wait for the wave

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    Hello again beautiful people! UPDATE: we are now in Jeffreys Bay in South Africa staying at the GLA base and working at an afterschool program called Beats and Books that works with underprivileged kids in the community! Obviously, this is a slight change from Eswatini, but due to recent rioting, the Lord changed our course and brought us here! I could not be more excited for this ministry and this place. Monday through Friday, from 10am to 5 pm, we are basically acting as schoolteachers haha! My specific job is plugging in grades into the system and giving out spelling tests and helping kids with their literacy homework. If you know me personally, you know this is hilarious. School was never my specialty, especially literacy. But I do my best, and these kids are so smart and kind and fun and have so much potential. They simply need people alongside them to show them love and show them that their lives are so precious, and they have so much to give to the world. I have been so filled up this past week working with the ministry. It’s kind of chaotic, but the Lord is so present there. I can already tell it’s going to be a really hard goodbye. We are here for only a couple more weeks and then back to America! And who knows what after that! 

    So an extra bonus of being here in Jeffreys Bay is that we are right on the coast. I have always felt the Lord so heavily near the ocean. He spoke to me on the beach in Topsail Island, North Carolina about my first race and the on the Gulf Shores in Alabama about this one. The heavy crashing of the waves, the vastness, the wind blowing every which way, the sun that consistently sets in the same place every time. I have the most beautiful memories at the beach. Of friends and families laughter, dancing and twirling in the sand, occasionally getting pummeled by a wave but nothing a nap on a towel couldn’t fix. I stand on the shore, staring at the water before me, and am suddenly overwhelmed at how great and majestic Creation is. The rays beaming off of the surface, the momentary sightings of dolphins jumping and playing. Life simply feels right while I’m digging my feet deep in the sand. 

    Today, we had the most amazing (painful) time surfing the waves of JBay! Well, surfing is a strong term. I really mostly bodysurfed and knee surfed. I got out there, had on my wetsuit, and was ready to take on the waves. I felt in control and ready…and then I tried to ride a wave. Let’s just say, I was very quickly humbled. As we neared the end, I was having so much fun, but getting really frustrated I couldn’t quite make it in the standing position on my board. I just kept praying out loud, “LORD IM GOING TO STAND UP ON THIS BOARD.” I was looking over at my insanely amazing team who were taking some falls, but definitely not looking like beginners. I would wait until they decided to hop on their board to catch a wave, and I would find myself hopping on the board as well. Of course, it didn’t really go great for me. I remember this one specific moment, I was staring out into the sea, feeling pretty disheartened, and just heard the Lord say, “Lilly, I’ve got a big wave coming for you, you just have to wait for it.” Obviously, I assumed that meant an actual wave. So, I was going on every wave, just waiting for my big break. I would really feel like “this wave was the one,” just for me to take a pretty brutal roll in the sand. It was pretty comical. We got closer to the end and I heard our instructor, Dion, yell out that we had 10 more minutes. I got pretty stressed, thinking to myself, “I have to stand up in the next 10 minutes.” And then I heard the Lord say, “Lilly, I am not constrained by time, I created time.” So, I was like, ok, but I still really want to stand up. We get to the end and sadly, I was not successful. I had the time of my life, but it was a little disappointing. Luckily, the Lord used this time to teach me something beautiful.

    As I was walking into shore, I was a little frustrated. I wanted it so bad. It reminded me of when my last team and I were in Panama were praying over a young girl who was paralyzed from her waist down. We prayed over for her for so long, and I was so confident the Lord was about to do something miraculous, but then He didn’t. We walked away from that house and felt that same frustration. Lord, I know how easy it would be for you to do these crazy things. As amazing as healing a girl from being paralyzed, to something as unimportant as me standing up on a surfboard, He could do it with a movement of His hand. It’s hard to pray so hard for something and for it not to happen. Especially when we want it instantly, and the Lord simply doesn’t work by our time clock. I fully believe that little girl will be dancing in a field, with both legs fully functioning, whether that’s here or in glory. Same for me standing up on a surfboard, so insignificant, but one day the Lord will get me up on that board. And I believe my wave is coming, but maybe not the wave I’m expecting. The Lord is working on a wave, specifically for me. He’s adding just the right amount of wind and power to get me where I need to go. The question is, am I willing to wait on all that the Lord has for me? He does the same for every one of us. The Lord is creating a very specific wave for each and every one of us, and He doesn’t want use to simply ride it, He wants us to enjoy the ride—to take in the scenery around us, to feel the wind in our face. Today, the biggest reason my instructor told me why I wasn’t able to fully stand up and balance was because I wasn’t looking up. Whoa. How often am I looking to the people beside me and comparing my life to theirs, or looking at my own feet instead of focusing on above. Somebody else’s wave might look cool and amazing, but the Lord has something equally as special for you. So right now, I’m okay sitting here, waiting on my board for the wave the Lord is creating for me. It might take a while, but I have a feeling it’s going to be worth the wait. 

Exodus 14:14 – “The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.”