To begin, my favorite fun fact to tell people is that my middle name is Flowers. I say it excessively, I’ll be honest, but its my moms maiden name that she passed down to me, and I have very few fun facts to share haha! So, a couple of times over the past couple years, I’ve had the same or similar visions spoken over me. When I told my testimony in Panama, a girl on my team and a girl at the base we’re at now said she saw me dancing in a field of flowers. Another girl told me that Jesus wanted to dance with me and a guy told me the Lord saw me as “His little flower.” Different but similar themes. I’ve sat with these a couple of times, wondering what it all meant, researching everything having to do with dancing and flowers. Everything, but sit and ask the Lord what He means by it.
Last night, my team and I had a beautiful worship night and the song “House on a Hill” by Amanda Lindsey Cook began to play. I let myself just sit at the Father’s feet. I soaked in every bit of His presence. I let Him fill my anxiety with peace, I let Him hold all my burdens. I laid at the Father’s feet, and I never wanted to leave. I closed my eyes and saw the most beautiful sight. Jesus and I were in this simple house. Bare floors, nothing on the walls, but sunlight pouring in the windows. He spun me around and we danced out of the house into a field of the most beautiful flowers. An array of color and majesty, the most beautiful sky, full of blues and clouds of all sizes and shapes. In my long white dress, I began to pick flowers until I had the most extravagant bouquet. I looked up to Jesus who was standing, leaning against the doorframe of the house, and I ran to Him, bouquet in hand. Then the Lord spoke the most beautiful words to me, as clear as I’ve ever heard the Lord speak. He said “My daughter, these flowers represent my children. I have called you to go out into the fields and bring my children back to me. Don’t forget to dance along the way.”
Obviously, I began to cry. It is hard to doubt the choices and the path that I have begun to walk on since leaving college. Don’t get me wrong, I love this life that the Lord has showed me, but sometimes I look at my friends and family back home and I cant help but miss it. I miss knowing the next step, I miss being surrounded by the people who have known me and loved me. I miss the consistency I had back home. I’m scared of what other people think of the choices I’ve made to take a break from school and pursue something that doesn’t exactly give me a 5 year plan, (or even a 6 months plan haha). And if I’m honest, I really really miss my bed. But the Lord, full of grace and mercy, spoke directly to these doubts. He reminded me of His goodness and faithfulness of bringing me here, and He is not leaving me to do it alone. I’m not sure what the future holds, but for right now, I am content dancing in a field of flowers.
